abusive distorted reality

Abusers see life by a different code – an abusive distorted reality. With this abusive distorted reality abusers feel entitled to a certain life. When they do not receive their perceived entitlement they resort to abuse in order to gain what they feel they deserve.

productive shame

(new term) utilizing feelings of shame for personal growth and development. Importance Productive shame is when we acknowledge feelings of shame and then try to understand and work through the thought patterns that form them. While we feel guilt after committing a wrongful act, shame is when we feel guilty for being who we are,Continue reading “productive shame”

toxic shame

(term previously coined by Dr. Silvan Tomkins) feelings of shame that lead someone to conclude they are bad, less than, unworthy, undeserving or unlovable. These feeling may be deep set, long-lasting and negatively affect someone’s core beliefs, automatic thoughts and overall identity. Importance Toxic shame, in a sense, is us being a bully to ourselves.Continue reading “toxic shame”

Comparative Guilt

feeling(s) of guilt for not being content because another person (known or unknown) may: love to be in your situation; or are in a worse situation than you. Examples of comparative guilt in a sentence: Parents sometimes use comparative guilt and say, “there are starving children in Africa,” to force their children to eat vegetables. Mary’s thoughtsContinue reading “Comparative Guilt”

Scapegoating, How Others Use It to Control and Manipulate Us

“I am not your puppet master.” When I said those words, it felt like an epiphany, but it sure did not look like what you would expect an epiphany to look like. The sky did not open, there was no bright light shining down on me. Due to fear, my face showed no emotion. IContinue reading “Scapegoating, How Others Use It to Control and Manipulate Us”